I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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