bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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