Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
