I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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