Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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