I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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