Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
