first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
