Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Randomize
