Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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