Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
