Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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