so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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