its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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