remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
