I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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