I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
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