Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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