btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
