Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
