Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
