Midget sex pt 2 tonight
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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