is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
