I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
