Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
