doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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