I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
