i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
