he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
