I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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