just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
