Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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