since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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