She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Come see our sink grown plant.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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