That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
We got so high we made milksteak
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize