do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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