If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
