Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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