i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
