What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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