The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize