if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
