is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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