We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Come on in and take your pants off
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