I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize