I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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