I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize