***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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