i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I AM VODKA MAN
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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