Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
