JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
