I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
