i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
