Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
