If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
