life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
