and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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