She just used a chaser for red wine.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
